Skip to main content

Russian space toilets - US grand designs

Cold war gloating in space is unseemly

American space dreams were too grandiloquent. Tiles flaked off their space shuttle, but in the '60s and '70s they dreamed of colonising the LaGrange points. Rebellion for this "Golden Age" of Science Fiction often meant author's freedom to boldly express misogyny and racism in a sort of "Look Up in Anger." Golden Age Science Fiction wore a quiff and ripped up cinema seats.

And admit it. Ender's game was trashy Mormonia. Most Mormons learn to bullshit after two years of Mission work. Ender's Game is Orson Scott Card's megalomaniac Mormon crap.

And speaking of hot piss and pissoirs. In the former communist countries a pissoir was just a pissoir, not a "Grand Design". A jar of jam was a jar of jam. And no permanently looped gif; no snarky comedian or ten million dollar advert could have morphed those dusty-brown, label- less jars full of sour plum, plonked onto the shelves of warehouse-like supermarkets, into sour plum fairy remedies for unhappiness.

Nevertheless the jam tasted fabulous on rye. That two litre jar of clear fluid was only the juice of a beech tree. That glass of foaming bubbles was merely an oxygen cocktail ready to be spooned up. That bottle in the fridge was brimming with smetana, kefir or sour milk; that silver tanker dispensed sweet foaming brown Kvas from a pipe.

I read a Polish book about a giant talking black dog published in 1979. The author finishes his book with a confession, saying:

"Children. This is not real. There is no talking dog and I am just a guy writing in a shitty room in a tower block and I am disabled and this is just my way of escaping. But I am wrong to do so. There is no magic dog. Deal with it!"

But what was indeed exotic about the Soviets was that they were the products of a social experiment gone wrong designed to create the "Novi Chelovyek", or New Man. And what was intriguing about Soviet space technology was that it had a Galapagos island feel to it: it was built by humans formed in a different societal ecology, where the value of things was determined by the value of things and not by chancers from marketing.

What happens to a human when every corner of his or her attention isn't colonised? What happens when even the cultural maya of religion is dispelled? The huge Soviet Energia rocket was exotic for this reason, and with it the Soviets could have built a proper space station with a toilet according an astronaut's needs.

Now, let's imagine the Cubans could build their rockets and satellites. What would they do with them? That's the question. And what would Cuban toilets be like. Well I think they would just be toilets not grand designs, not the gloating symbols of cold war victory .

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Aerogramme from Lisa and Richard

To: Mr & Mrs J. Hall, Box 49 Eikenhof (TVL) Johannesburg Afrique du Sud. 28.3.76 Dear John and Nola, Today a week ago we were still in New Delhi with Eve and Tony and the boys and the whole thing looks like a dream. We arrived on the 28.2 in New Delhi and were happy to see the whole family fit and in good health. The boys have grown very much, Phil is just about the size of Tony and the twins are above average. We stayed untill the 22nd March, as our visa ran out and we did not want to go through all the ceremony of asking for an extension. It also got hotter and I don't know how I would have supported the heat. The extra week would also have passed, so we decided not to go to all the trouble with the authorities and leave on the 22nd. I cannot tell you how happy we have been to see such a lovely family, so happy and united. It is rare to experience sucha thing and we have both all the reasons to be proud of them (when I say goth I mean you and us ). There is su

Guardian books blog fringe: Norman Mailer

FLASHING THE GUARDIAN -- A BOOKS BLOGGERS' REBELLION :  The unheroic censor with a death wish Part 1: In which Norman Mailer stars in an experiment in search engine optimisation By ACCIACCATURE 3 February 2009 When Norman Mailer died in 2007, informed opinion – in the blogosphere, people who had read at least two of his books – was split. The army of readers who saw him as one of the most despicable misogynists writing fiction in the 20th century was perfectly matched by warriors on the other side, who raged that the label wasn’t just unwarranted but tantamount to heinous calumny. Before commenters returned to bitching-as-usual, tempers were lost on literary sites all over the net in debating temperatures high enough to bring to mind tiles burning off space shuttles re-entering Earth’s atmosphere. After I'd agreed to a spontaneous suggestion by our good friend Sean Murray -- a pioneer and stalwart of the comments section of The Guardian’s books blog – that we re-

Guardian: Kate Harding's reactionary censorious blog on CiF

It should go without saying... ....that we condemn the scummy prat who called Liskula Cohen : "a psychotic, lying, whoring ... skank" But I disagree with Kate Harding , (in my view a pseudo blogger), posting her blog in the Guardian attacking bloggers. It's a case of set a thief to catch a thief. The mainstream media is irritated by bloggers because they steal its thunder and so they comission people like Kate Harding , people with nothing to say for themselves, apparently, other than that they are feminists, to attack bloggers. I'm black. So I can legitimately attack "angry white old men". I'm a feminist, so I have carte blanche to call all anonymous bloggers "prats." Because yes, that is her erudite response to bloggers. No I don't say that the blogging medium can't be used to attack progressives in whatever context. Of course it can. But to applaud the censorship of a blogger by a billion dollar corporate like Google, and moreov