Animated prayer

Aithee'ists shud prai te blak h'eulz

Mait ai sedjest sumthing fer 'n aithe'eist te prai too.

A big h'eul.

'V kaus it wud ownli bee a litl h'eul, but if aul the aitheeists praid tegethe then the hole wud grow bigge nd bigge nd then it kud be soh big it kud eevn swolow god.

Te prai te a h'eul wud bee veri rispektibl becauz praiing te uh hole iz n admishn that won duz not no wot iz troo or untroo. It iz n edmishn ev ignerense. Secratic in the best sens ev the werd, bet ownli sow long ez yr secratisizm duznt haid filistanizm.

In m'eust kaisiz ai think it duz, th'eu.

Wots we'ed fe mi iz the wai kumyoonl praiy'e seemz te werk bet'e thn prai'ing on yer own. Aiv been in plaisiz we'er peepl gather nd u silens disends n yoo reely feel u presens. Ai supeuz its laik beeng et e footbawl mach.

O the igzampl ev solitary pre'er in e forist. Thauz plaisiz we'er cawld chaantid wudz, not inchaantid. Yoo'l notis them ritn ez 'chanctonbury' wud.

Aiv cum ekros the best prai'er. It we'ekz fe mi. Ai s'peuz its tauist reeli. Never had e paier bifo, bt ai laik this won. Hie geuz:


In th taimlss iz th formls.
in the formlss iz th da'aknis.
In the da'aknss iz th stilns.
In th stilns iz th seed.


Aut 'v nuthing kumz th bee'ng.
Aut 'v bee'ing kumz th meening.
Aut 'v meening kumz th mohshn.
Aut 'v mohshn kumz th akshn.
Aut 'v akshn kumz th deed.


Nd 'v lait - law
Nd 'v law - luv
Nd 'v luv - laif.

Altern'tvli (skjooz mee wail ai get the hang 'v this speling sistm.) yo kud ripeet th zool'ander pre'er. Ai met a br'zilien hoo adv'caitd it r'lig'sli:

Sai t' y'self 'uv' nd 'uv' 'gen:

Hoo am ai?

If yo ' ridiky'l'sli gud luking' then do this wail luking in th' mire'.'nd thatz 'n intresting kwestch'n, bikawz th' 'sumshn iz th't y' n'u hoo yoo a' wen m'ust 'v us reeli d'unt. E lot 'v pre'e must bee a je'eni inw'dz. Th' chanting iz dj'st laik a saund je'eni inte y' bee'ing. Pre'e iz not sh'u taim. Th' kwaik'ez 'e not bet'e th'n th' kathliks f' igzaampl. Its dj'st a difn'nt 'epr'uch.

Wot we'e th' praiy'z 'v th' paw peepl wo we' hareed inte th' deth chaaimbez et awshwitz? Did thei prai:
Oh God inte' ye' handz ai k'mend mai s'ul? Or did thei dj'st weep h'uplesli? Ai. That's th' kwesch'n. Think 'v that wen ye see a smug kistyen prai'ing.

Pre'er haz s'm veri ekjoot probl'mz atacht. In th' ferst plais it iz mediait'd bai langwidg. 'nd we n'eu langwidj iz a sist'm 'v sains. This meenz it ca'ant bee yunive'ersl et awl.

Th' uth' point iz th't wen ye h'v three calz te praije' yeling auve' th' rooftops et th' saim taim its a pain in th' a'as, much az sundai bel ringing waz up t' th' sev'nteez.

Pre'er iz simpli a fawm 'v autw'd faising a link lok with wots aut the'er. Th'ats its pauer laik e spel. It iz perlecjush'neri. It iz the autwed moovmnt ev th' mind frm th' intenshn t' th' akshn. It iz e ca'asting 'v thawt.

Fer igzampl. Th' hohl industri of NLP iz baist on a limit'd fo'om 'v prai'er. Intenshn alainz the subkonshs maind with th' unkonshes nd this maiks th' individyu'el mo'o pau'efl.

Peepl er fraitend ev kursiz not bikauz thei r styoopid, but bikauz thei undestand th' powe' 'v alaining mindz. A good igzampl iz frm Garsia ma'akez'z buk Kronicl 'v e deth fo'ort'euld. Its a big heks.

Praier iz impo'otnt te sumwon hoo bileevz th't th' spirit animaits us 'nd that wee 'r not onli machinz. Athee'istz bileev th't wee 'r m'sheenz 'nd s'eu thei need te doo a lot mo'or thinking befo'o thei ca onestli sai thei 'prai'

Thei kan 'v ko'os but onli in a rilidjez wai not en aithiest wai.

New aithi'ists hoo klaim te prai 'r djumping th' gun. In th' naim of th' fathe' th' son 'nd th' holi spirit. This is th' important point. It iz th' spirit th't  animaits, nd if yu d'eun't think it exists then wot on e'eth a'a yoo praying too?